Saints and Sinners

On Testimonial day at OHI an ageing rock n roller from Las Vegas announced he just got the all clear from stage 4 cancer after a 17 week stint here on this strict calorie restricted diet. He lost 100lbs and looked in great shape. Impressive. I also met Peg, one of the facilitators here, who also cured her stage 4 cancer. She was very inspiring and encouraging. Both had been told they would die, both lay major claim in the wheatgrass. This is a place where miracles can happen. I am now on this quest to understand the circumstances that allows the body heal itself from illnesses that have been written off by the medical establishment.

There is nothing written in the OPI literature about healing cancer. That keeps them within the law. A law that states that one can only claim to cure cancer with surgery, chemotherapy and radiation. It is the same in the UK. OPI give no promises. But they are committed to helping you get well if you are willing to do your part. They show you the tools then the hard work is up to oneself. I have learnt to heal fully the main key is to get the mind, body and spirit back in harmony as if you are sick then it is definitely out of sync.

Ever wondered what that connection really means in it’s entirety? I am trying to unravel it. I will be the first to admit that I used to be rather shallow, my old life was mostly about having fun, working hard and making money. I have always believed in energy but my spiritual side wasn’t being nurtured. I think most of us go through our lives with them in harmony without even really knowing it. Then a life trauma comes along and rocks your world like death of a loved one, job loss, illness or such. My father’s death and family feuds over 11 years ago sent me out of balance. I have not managed to heal it. It is how we deal with these life traumas that sets the future. I am being helped by many people here to get to that place. Until these emotions are in check and my mind, body and spirit are back in harmony then the body cannot reach the high PH needed to kick into healing mode. Attachment to negative feelings make the body acidic. I still have some forgiving to do and have had to go right back through my life. This is no easy task. Once I am in a calm place then my healing will begin fully.

The East is well versed in this philosophy. Here in the West when ill they only treat the body and ignore the mind and body connection. If your mind is troubled they want to throw drugs at it which rarely sorts out the real issues and only puts a lid on things. We use busyness to dampen the feelings when what you really should be doing is going deep inside to resolve the real issues. Epigenetic’s is now showing that the cells will do what the mind tells them too. Remember the old saying ‘Be careful what you think because you just might get it’. Be warned. I believe less and less of us have this connection but we are now becoming more aware. I maybe wrong.

I am now in the 5th week of detoxing and it has been extremely severe. It has been hard to focus this week till now so I took it all in my stride and went with it. They use calorie restriction to bring the detox on fully and give the digestive system a rest so the body can use its energy for healing. Emotions that have been stored in body rise to the surface, which can be rather dramatic. It is all part of the process. To start the healing one has to try step outside of one self and take each event or person that comes up separately, feel the emotions fully, look at it without getting the mind too involved, say what you need to say then let it pass. Some of the difficult ones stick with you and bog you down. Crying is the best release. There is a weekly release ceremony where we burn the things that no longer serves us. It is a very powerful exercise.

I have been counselled by a Priest here. His parents founded this place. He used to be an international banker so has seen it all. He is an extremely kind man who throws no judgements on me or my faith. But you do need to believe in some kind of higher power to get the spiritual element to work. He is one of the kindest person I have ever met who doesn’t want anything back from me, not even money. Rare to find this unselfish giving. He said I am suffering from PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder). Most people with a cancer diagnosis suffer it to some degree or other but throw in the other problems I had of homelessness, bankruptcy, eviction and all the drama that went with it and you will have a toxic mix of emotions. The fight or flight response was in constant motion for so long that adrenalin fatigue set in and it eventually shut down and stopped working on the days I couldn’t get out of bed. I still awaken depressed, most days I successfully shake it off and get on with my day but the next morning there it is and I have to go through it again. It’s like groundhog day. He is helping me work through it all.

I have had my free 3rd week authorised. My scholarship has been funded by a 30 year old man who frequents every once in a while. I am touched a stranger can be so generous. I am writing a thank you to express how much it has helped me. I am utterly grateful and blessed that I have been surrounded recently with so many people who have helped me in one way or another. What a lucky girl I am.

I had a personal let down yesterday that upset me terribly. I felt rejected. It triggered some old hurts from when I was first diagnosed and told a few friends. Most of them ran away! It was such a bad experience that I stopped telling people and held it inside. Most people with cancer say they received incredible support. It isn’t always that way. My penance for being a party girl I suppose. Anyway it felt like it was happening again and my thoughts became consumed with doubt. My FB page has also gone embarrassingly quiet since I announced it. Not a good sign. I don’t get many comments on my blog, apart from a small handful of closest friends. I realise that most people have busy lives but Peg said I need a strong support network, do I have one? Is anyone out there reading this? Am I boring? depressing I suppose. Shit. I wish my reality was different.

All these thoughts got me into a state and my resolve was tested and I failed. Miss Self-Destruct reared her head. An opportunity to go off campus came along and I went with it. While my partner in crime got stuck into some chicken, I had a glass of scummy red wine with a few sweet potato chips, then a yummy sweet cocktail with a chocolate desert. It was heaven. I got back to my room and decided that bulimia was probably best course so stuck my fingers down my throat and threw the gunge up. Hopefully will have got away with it and not fed my cancer and not put any weight on. Better not make it a regular habit! This is the first time that I have ever doubted myself. I still have a way to go with loving myself and accepting things as they are. If people around me aren’t supportive then it makes it doubly hard. Does this mean I will never fall off the wagon. No. But the most important thing if I do is to enjoy it and climb right on back on. I am human and fallible. The weird thing is that I feel cleansed and really happy today. Good old purge I suppose!

I feel I will need to start my counselling session with ‘Forgive me father for I have sinned’.

Love and Healing.


If you wish to donate then follow the link below, any contributions  or good wishes are welcome



Californian Sunsets

The Optimum Health Institute (OPI) is a far cry from Hippocrates (HHI). Anne Wigmore, who cured her ovarian cancer naturally, and founded HHI willingly passed on the info to OPI. They have added their own twist to it. It is quite astounding the discrepancies between the therapies and all have amazing success stories. It has all come from qualified professionals but with conflicting info.

Anne Wigmore introduced Rejuvelac from fermented grain that helps with the good bacteria in the gut which apparently is compromised in most illnesses. HHI have stopped using it but they continue here as they do in the Anne Wigmore Inst in Peurto Rico.

Hippocrates have banned tomatoes for healing cancer, here they use loads and it is allowed on Gerson Dietary Therapy. Gerson used loads of carrots, beets, apples and small amounts of other fruit, HHI and OPI have banned them all due to the high sugar content. Gerson use coffee enemas, here and HHI use 1 water enema and 2 wheatgrass implants. Here they recommend Reverse Osmosis water filtration and HHI recommend distilled as they say it is the only one that will take out pharmaceutical drugs.

The detox here is very strict. They plate the food up and it is minute, not even the size of a side salad, and 2 days per week is juice fasting. I am on day 2. At HHI they encourage you to have fresh garlic and herbs, here it is powdered and in such small containers that you can hardly get any out. I am absolutely bloody starving but I am grateful and happy to be experiencing both.

The first day was the usual welcoming and tour stuff which didn’t take long as the campus is quite small, it used to be a motel and they have added a few other buildings. The accommodation they first put me in was shit and shared with a overweight Russian who snored all bloody night. She wanted the noisy air con on and I didn’t. I upgraded to a better room with my own bathroom. I mean all the bum stuff you have to do should be private. I am much happier now.

It looks cheaper at first but everything is extra here. HHI are more sophisticated on the advancement of treatments and include a lot of therapies. The premises and buffet are like a holiday palace in comparison. Sauna’s were dotted all over HHI, they recommend them here to help take toxins away but don’t have one! In case you get low blood pressure from the detox is the explanation. They also recommend to rebound but don’t have any rebounder’s! Also advised is 3 colonics per week (which seems excessive, more research required) to help move toxins out the body, and 3 massages (nice) to help move toxins from the tissues and bring more relaxation and peace of mind. I can’t afford all that so have booked 1 per week on Wednesdays, the 2nd juice fast day to help alleviate symptoms of starvation. Money held me back from doing Gerson 4 years ago and is not going to get in the way again so need to do something about it that complements this healing path. Maybe I should write about these places and their differences.

All emphasise lymphatic exercise and here they have 2 classes per day, I can take one or both, it is a CD with a most annoying voice so don’t think I can bear too much more of that. There is a lovely stretch class in the afternoon that leaves you quite dreamy. They are teaching us Alpha meditation which was created by Jose Silver, which I ironically learnt in the 80’s but didn’t carry it on. It gets you into that alpha state before you sleep where you can apparently access your sub-conscious.

They have taught us all about importance of elimination (enemas and colonics) and detoxing the major organs, the new scary chemical I didn’t know about aside from parabens, flouride is sodium Lauryl Sulphate found in soaps to create lather. It is used in garage floor paint! And damages the immune system so watch out folks.

Gerson says it takes 5 weeks to renew the cells in the liver, HHI say 7 weeks and here they say 8 weeks. Anyway the one thing they all agree upon is that you have to get your body into a high alkaline PH, normal is 7.35 to 7.45, for healing to kick in it needs to be high at about 8.9. All agree that sugar feeds cancer which the hospitals still deny. Lemon is the most alkaline thing you can do so give a good start to your day with lemon water. HHI had jugs of it for breakfast, here they recommend it but don’t give it which I find most odd. Trying to work out if they are just tight but their hearts are in the right place.

The speakers are very credible, they know their subject and engage you fully. There are many stories of people healing grave illnesses. We had a talk from Peg the other night who came here 13 years ago with a terminal diagnosis of 6-9 months to live. She is thriving. She healed her cancer after 4 months here! but remains on a maintenance diet. I will get an appointment with her next week for some advice. Just met a guy from Clapham who has stage 4 kidney cancer, he has been here for 3 months as a missionary and his bloods have improved dramatically and the tumours have shrunk. He is staying for another 3 months.

Last night’s talk was about emotional detoxification. They say emotional detox comes from the physical detox too. I like that there is a huge emphasis on the spiritual and emotional path which was predominantly missing at HHI. This place is attached to a faith but it is not evident and there is thankfully no bible bashing as they accept people of all faiths. I am still worrying about things unfortunately which makes the body acidic so will be good to create a shift in perspective. The Californian sunsets alone bring you one step closer to enlightenment.

Love and Healing.


If you wish to donate then follow the link below, any contributions  or good wishes are welcome


A Hippocrates summary.

Hippocrates health institute claim to have helped tens of thousands of people heal their cancer, including many at stage 4, like me. You would be forgiven for thinking most of the guests there are in tip top health. I did. But I learnt during my 3 week life transformation stay that the majority who come here have a health challenge story and the ones that stick with it also have a impressive recovery story. They have adopted a living enzyme diet to help them get well and a side effect is to look amazingly well. Here they teach you everything you need to know about focusing on your own survival by incorporating healthy eating, getting more oxygen with exercise and better air, purer water, sunshine and good rest.

The public flooded to an open day last Thursday to hear Dr Brian Clement talk. A good few of the guests and training health educators stood up and told their incredible stories: One lady who cured ovarian cancer 20 years ago, another chap cured leukaemia 6 years ago and a lady told of her father who was sent home to die of skin cancer and lived for another 20 years. It was impressive. There are also many testimonials on their website of roads to recovery.

However, the diet alone is not enough. A friend of mine was a raw foodie for 10 years and got ovarian cancer. She had an op to remove only the diseased parts. She realised she didn’t love herself and did a lot of emotional work and remains cancer free for the last 3 years. The doctors said it wouldn’t work so are dumb founded. This is a whole mind, body and spirit programme so there are many varied lectures by different professionals included in the programme. At least half, if not more, of the battle is in the head.

I had a few sessions with Andy and Antony, the camp’s healing physiologists. It is totally clear why I got cancer. The lecture on stress had 5 components, if it is constant and unrelenting for a period of time then it takes the body to the point of lowering it’s defences then disease can take over. I ticked every box more than once on both times my cancer had reared it’s ugly head. The sessions and healing circle have helped me come to terms with a lot of crap and do some needed forgiving. I realise I internalised my anger because I find aggression so ugly. But that turned it into a disabling depression. I am still a bit all over the place as emotions come up that are hard to deal with but will get there.

To heal my body I have to starve the mutant cells by cutting all the processed stuff; the sugar, carbs, meat, diary and alarmingly, even fruit because of the natural sugars. It was controversial as whether certain ones with low GI would be ok. Dr Ghen, the IV nutritional expert, said it was ok to eat berries and apple peel (not the apple). The Head nurse said ‘Yes but we found that people moved onto other high sugar fruit when we told them that, so it was best to tell them no to all fruit.’ I responded angrily “We are not 5 years old and can differentiate ourselves what is high sugar and not.’ It lost them some credibility in my eyes and requires more research.

There is a big emphasis on elimination that includes the dreaded colonics, daily enemas and wheatgrass implants; in fact you learn you can put wheatgrass anywhere to gain a benefit, in any orifice! To boost the immune system I am feeding my body the planets most nutritious food; lots of wheatgrass, sea vegetables, sprouts, green juices, nuts, seeds and vegetables. I understand most of us are so addicted to food. I am. It’s not easy. One of the girls saw a McDonalds bag stuffed into the gym bin! The tormenting cravings visit often. The gardener taught us how to grow the grass and sprouts and the chef gave encouraging kitchen techniques and raw food recipes to help with essential variety.

Exercise is a big part of any healing programme so there was various classes of Qigong, Tai Chi, yoga, mediation, pilates, dance classes, kick-boxing, walks, runs. I tried all the gentle exercises as my hip is still hurting at different grades on different days. I may have overdone a few exercises so have still been hobbling with my crutch some days. On one of those evenings a band played so everyone got up to shake their stuff. I couldn’t so I shook my arms. I was the cripple in the room. I was pissed off but I have to be patient with the bones as they take a long time to heal. I am unsure of the extent of the damage the cancer has caused in those bones as the hospital have written me off as dying so have not done any further exploratory tests. I have stopped going there as it feels so negative and defeatist. I am not dying. I am healing.

The pools were the best and most relaxing part of the programme. I included a daily swim, then over to the hot mineral pool or hot jacuzzi for 15 mins followed by the cold plunge pool for 15 seconds, for a minimum of 7 times daily. The first cold plunge is hell but then the tingles get better each time. Loved it. Infra red saunas are dotted all over the grounds and 20 mins daily is the recommended minimum. It heats the body from inside out. Cancer cells do not like heat. I also fit in a 20 mins steam to help my lungs recover from my smoking abuse. I stopped when I got on that plane 3 weeks ago. It was an easy transition as I had made my mind up. It is the thinking that causes the torture of quitting.

Some staff are evidently not raw foodies as they are typically American overweight. Who would if they didn’t have to? but a good few do. It certainly wouldn’t be my choice, if I had one. I know many say that they would do it if it happened to them, but they can’t say that until they are in that position and have tried it. I am struggling with it, grieving even, to think this is it for the next year or 2 but will do it.

The institute is apparently non profit making! They do have a beautiful 50 acre tropical site to maintain and are constantly keeping up with research on new cutting edge treatments. Basic blood draws are included but more exploratory ones are too tempting to ignore. They have introduced many other therapies and integrative doctors who prescribe various extra tools of IV and oxygen therapies to help speed up the detoxification time and enhance the effects to increase the chances of success. I couldn’t afford most of them which was stressful in itself. They say the diet stands alone. I was awarded a scholarship due to financial hardship and I am truly grateful my friends all contributed to my appeal which got me there. I am a lucky chic to have realised this dream: I had to pinch myself many times. But these extra’s made me feel that if I don’t do what they advise then it may fail. It is a down side. This is really a medical spa for the rich if you did everything on offer. Some check in for long stints.

From the generosity of friends I did manage to have 3 IV therapies of high dose vitamin C mixed with immune boosting nutrients that kill cancer cells and boost the immune system and 2 silver infusions that kill virus’s and bacteria. It felt like a chemo room. It is expensive (along with the cocktail of recommended naturally derived supplements) so I could not complete the recommended 12 infusions but it will have given it a blast. I will find somewhere back in the UK to carry them on somehow. A round of chemotherapy and radiation would cost more than this trip but these are not recognised as bona fide cancer treatments by mainstream medicine so not covered by NHS. There is not enough money to be made in it so no companies will fund studies.

I left Hippocrates yesterday knowing more than ever that healing this god damn scary cancer is possible. Their mission is ‘Helping people help themselves’. They have taught me so much. Feelings have been tossed around and beliefs challenged. My broken spirit is on the mend. I met some very strong like minded amazing people who helped me get through it. There was a central sense of camaraderie, being in it together. Some will become friends for life. I cried as I departed as felt homesick and missed my friends.

But the rebel that I am means the research carries on. I arrived in San Diego last night to move on today to Optimum Health Inst for another 3 week detox who I believe have a more intense personal growth programme. The Yankies are playing here so all the hotels were full so I had to sleep in the airport! Not a great start but I am now at the Sheraton having pool time which feels like a bit of free time. I feel happy with life. It is all up to me. Can I do it. Hell yeah. Will it be easy. Hell no.

Love and Healing.


If you wish to donate then follow the link below, any contributions  or good wishes are welcome