Crisis Days

9 days into the detox and this has to be the worst day so far. I am having a bit of a CRISIS day. I have been racing round continuously from lecture to appointment with no spare time. I just fully embraced it and mostly ignored the outside world. I needed that. But I now have a nasty ear infection and yesterday I was told I must slow down. At least, at last, I have time to get on the internet and write this. The left side of my face is swollen and the ear is closed up so I am on strong anti-biotics: ironic in a natural healing place and I f***king hate anti-biotics. Moreover, I was given some further disturbing news from the doctor from my blood results. I am borderline diabetic and I have some problems with my arteries (my CRP is 3 when it should under 1), and my blood is thicker than it should be. All solvable at a cost!

My normal blood test was generally good except for a few liver enzymes; in line with cancer being there and my cholesterol was slightly high. I commissioned a further test to delve further into the cells to show hormone levels, inflammation markers etc. Dr Ghen is one of the world’s leading IV nutritionist therapist and has had amazing success with curing cancer, especially breast and prostate cancers and specialises in balancing hormones – which is a real concern to me as my cancer is oestrogen fed. He has recommended a load of supplements and a course of high dose naturally derived Vitamin C IV infusion mixed with silver and some other nutrients needed (determined from the blood results). It kills cancer cells, pretty much like chemo does, but without the side effects. There is also Dr Lemberg who specialises in oxygen treatments to help oxygenate the body to keep it alkaline which stabilises the cancer. I will do as many treatments as finances allow but they are expensive. They said the detox stands alone but these treatments enhance the outcome: they give it a better chance of working and can cut down the time of the detox in half. I know they have me by the short and curly’s on this one but they do have an incredible success rate. There are many people here who healed their cancer years ago or knows someone who did. I feel stressed that I will not be able to do the full range treatments on offer but will do what I can. I cringe to have to ask but I still need your help and support.

I swapped a heatwave in London for stormy Florida; sounds so wrong. But my instinct and hobbling around on a stick with an aching hip told me I needed to start my healing path quickly so I booked and left as soon as I had funds. I am so grateful to be here at Hippocrates Health Inst. but this is not a holiday. It is challenging to say the least. The philosophy is to detox the body while flooding it with living enzymes to optimism the immune system to its full potential. It is an anti-inflammatory diet with little other than raw plants, sprouts, raw vegetables, nuts, seeds, spices, fresh juices and the dreaded enemas. This is not for the faint hearted.

All this clean living leaves not only heals the body, but opens up the mind to deeply hidden emotions which are now coming to the surface. A psychologist told me years ago that I have an oral fixation, whether it be booze, fags or whatever! I have stopped all these substances so it is time to deal with my demons. Luckily there are professionals here who can help with that but again, at a cost. Incredibly vivid dreams are visiting me with powerful messages. I haven’t remembered my dreams for years so this is like a ‘trip’ with a difference. Unfortunately they are extremely disturbing, the last few years have left terrible scars on my subconscious. I now know why I still wake up depressed most days. But there is a full size labyrinth that I walk round most days too with a different intention that the dreams have highlighted and it stirs up all kinds of thoughts and realisations which helps clarity. My mind I fear will be the hardest one to heal.

There is an incredible healing energy here. I would say about a third of the clients are here with every range of chronic illnesses, more than another third are doing it to simply to be be healthy and look youthful, and the rest are here on a 9 week health educator course so they can teach it and make a difference in the world. There is every age range and most are very passionate about it and embrace it as a way of life and return many times. I have met so many strong empowered people who have been so supportive.

While here, I have scaled the dizzy heights of absolute elation with life but also plummeted to the depths of despair to intense feelings of hopelessness. At these times I crave a glass of wine and a smoke, but thankfully, it passes eventually. I have too much to loose. I vacillate between loving the food and absolutely despising it. It is part of the process they tell me and say it will get better as I feel better. My tastebuds are changing and it will be easier as I get cleaner. I will get through this even though it is incredibly tough. No-one said it would be easy but there are a few short cuts out there.

Love and healing

Sonia. XX


Angels in Abundance

Friday 12th July

I feel high on life today, connected with my inner spirit, the soul, the shining light or whatever you want to call it. The last 11 days have been the most dynamic in my life: a whirlwind of emotions, fast changes and new opportunities. The appeal exceeded my expectations and I am truly grateful and blessed. Angels are flying around me in abundance.

Tomorrow morning I fly to Florida to Hippocrates Health Institute to start my detox, and my new life. I have to start to walk the walk rather than just talk the talk. The hard work starts here. After 3 weeks I will move onto Optimum Health Institute, another natural healing Institute in San Diego, for another 3 week course. Both gave me a massive discount. This enables me to stay in this environment for 6 weeks so I can change some habits, exorcise some demons and give my body and mind the capability to start healing. I will learn so much, shift my perspective, and get myself into a routine which I can carry on at home.

I also received some other great news. I stopped a runaway drinks trolley on the train to Bristol a few weeks ago and badly damaged my thumb. First Great Western train line have kindly agreed to sponsor me to do The Dalai Lama trip for Penny Brohn Cancer Centre in November, something I have always wanted to do. I am delighted that Penny Brohn get the rewards as they help so many people who are struggling with cancer. It fuels my resolve to get get healthy enough to cope with it. What a day! 

I booked this trip so urgently because my hip hurts like hell. And that scares me. I am so ready for this. I hope to come back without needing my stick. I will be in the right place to be supported through all the tough days, and there will surely be many. I can’t pretend that I am not apprehensive. I am. But I believe in what I am about to do and the many people routing for me feeds that determination. My phone has been going berserk all day with good wishes. I guess I am about to meet some very interesting like minded people. This is so much bigger than just my healing. I have a greater cause to help many others and that gives me strength. I will update my blog with my progress.

Pride is a strange word with a double meaning. I was too proud to ask for help through my troubles and that kept me in my misery. I am now proud of myself that I took that leap and that has made my whole view on life change. I am so excited. Happy healing days are ahead.

Love and healing



The Difference a Week Makes

As the last week has unfolded, I think have been through every range of emotion possible, from the pits of hell to absolute elation. I cried tears of pain at the start of the launch: the uncertainty had me squirming. But now they are tears of joy and a huge weight has been lifted from me, replaced by a strange feeling of oneness with the universe (used to wonder WTF that meant!) This is my path now and the reasons it all happened is now becoming clear. I would not be feeling this if I had not let go of control enough for this to happen. It feels so much better than the pride I held onto for so long. My reality has shifted in a massive way. I have never felt this loved in my life and I thank wholeheartedly each and every one of you who has contributed in whichever way you have.

 We are so close to the target and so very grateful for all the support, donations and lovely messages. I will be on my way very soon. I feel so happy that I can now apply all the knowledge I have built from the obsessive research I have done. What a difference a week can make.

 I never said it was going to be easy so the challenges are now facing me head on. The people who know me well know that I used to love to parttttty. My nickname was ‘The Cøuntess of Belgravia’, that’s right it doesn’t have an O in it! I wasn’t a cøunt. It was a joke. I was pretty wild but I have no regrets; I loved it and had more than my fair share of fun. The full on partying has been gone for a long while now and I juice organic vegetables and, wearing my ‘Witch of Pimlico’ hat. (They would have burnt me in the middle ages!) I grind and mix up what I call my ‘healthy green guk’. A concoction of various organic plants, roots and sea algae, all full of great nutrients which helps to alkalise my body.. I have only been drinking red wine as it has anti-oxidants, polyphenols and reservatrol in it. All good stuff, but only if a glass or 2 a day, not a bottle or 2 as it used to be. However, I will even refrain from this in the initial stages of the detox. On my return, I will be 100% on this course with no excuses. My new title will become ‘The Phoenix of Pimlico’.

 I still have some hurdles to overcome. I am taking baby steps each step of the way, all in the right direction. I have been doing what I could within my means, and everything has taken time to put into place and to build my strength and confidence back up, especially in my mind. I have been in need of some emotional crutches which I will deal with as I heal. I can’t take any chances on ANYTHING hindering my recovery. I don’t want to put myself in a position of looking back, having regrets and thinking that I could have done something more.

 Anyway, onwards and upwards. Through all the tough times, I have had a few sayings that kept me going. I told myself, ‘Whatever happens I will handle it,’ a quote from Susan Jeffers, and I have done as best I can. Also, ‘Things won’t always be this way, spring always follows winter’ Admittedly at times, I would screech frustratedly ‘But when? This is a long f**king winter.’ I am happy to announce my spring has finally arrived.

Vulnerability vs Courage

Making myself this vulnerable does not come easy to me as I am normally fiercely independent but events in the last few years knocked me off my perch, I was trampled upon and financial, home and health problems were thrown into the pot. So life threw its challenges at me from every level which left me on the floor. I thought I was invincible but none of us are. But I am normally a fighter and a winner so I have finally bitten the bullet and been courageous to allow a couple of dear friends to launch an appeal for help. The ‘I’ll do it my way’ documentary team were here to film pressing the go button. It was a very emotional moment, I cried like a baby. Right now I feel raw and I am literally squirming in my skin with humiliation so it’s maybe not surprising that I am absolutely f**king terrified.

My battle is to cure, or at the very least stabilise, stage 4 breast cancer that has metastasised into various bones and the liver. I have now met many people who have done this, some as long ago as 15/20 years and there are many stories going back to the 50’s when Gerson started curing it but they are mostly suppressed and ignored by mainstream media. I intend to change that.

I have learnt so much from all these events as a cancer diagnosis makes you look at what has brought this about. One of my lessons is that I need to put away my pride and ask for what I want in a clear and concise way.

I used to love to throw big parties, back then, I looked outside of myself for my self-esteem, self-respect and self-worth. I was always anxious that no-one would show up, but the parties were always heaving. I needed to surround myself with others to feel loved. I was Miss Popular back then but then circumstances changed and most people moved onto the next party. I am now throwing an appeal party for support or donation. I thank everyone wholeheartedly who has supported and believed in me through these hard times.

My health is now failing and I sometimes have some very painful symptoms and need a crutch some days, I cannot do what I used to be able to do so it is time to get serious and get down to the detox. I played a little with the devil as the 2 year regime was the same for a small amount of cancer as it was for the people who had been given the terminal sentence. I wasn’t ready for that commitment till now. As my body heals I will regain my strength and throw away that god-damn crutch.

A new life is beginning where I will get to know a different side of myself. When I get my teeth stuck into something then I am a very determined person. I have a lot of work to do on myself both mentally and physically, both are equally important. I am taking baby steps in the right direction to find the love and self respect inside myself that I deserve and leave behind the ego that needed to be fed by others in the past.

Buddha started his philosophies by recognising that we will all get old, sick and die. Most of us go through life not knowing or even giving any thought to when or how we will die, I certainly did. But a cancer diagnosis changes that. It is hard to imagine how that will feel until it happens. If I accept it then it will surely happen. But I don’t. I am not ready yet. I am now getting strong again and believe in what I am about to do, but I have a challenge on my hands to say the least.

I was at Penny Brohn Cancer centre last week on a stillness retreat and walked their remembrance path collecting the energy from all the people who had lost their lives to cancer, it was a very spiritual moment. This documentary will hopefully open up that there are things you can do to help yourself and help thousands of people with their battle. I have been collecting Angels around me so please follow my journey to give me courage.

Love and Healing.


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